The strength within my daughter

This will be my hardest most challenging blog yet. I have wanted to write it for a while, but I wanted to give it much thought and attention. As in any form of art or creative expression, your most endearing and personal loves or relationships are the hardest to express because you want them to be perfectly executed in whatever form you are conveying them in. This blog is dedicated to my amazing daughter, friend, hero and momma to my grandkids.

Kristin has always seemed older than her years. She was always one of the tallest girls and oldest girls in her class. As a child she had complete confidence in her roll as a child and was probably too confident in her roll as big sister. When she was 2, her baby brother David was born, and she became momma Kristin. She loved helping care for her brother but also loved bossing him around and telling him exactly what to do and how to do it. Kristin was a very fast learner and did well in school with whatever she set out to learn. She took piano for 7 years, and did very well. She excelled way past me in her artistic ability. Sports were not always her love, but she was a very good swimmer and was on the high school swim team.  She  tried many sports and never gave up even when her brother would shake his head and tell her she had no talent on the soccer field, she persisted and played a season in high school.

I did not have a lot of opportunities as a child and my goal has always been to introduce or provide opportunities for both of my kids so that they could fulfill their passions in whatever that may be. I was that mom that was at every game, school function, waiting in the car with a book at practice or taking five kids in the car hours away for games.

My daughter’s art abilities awarded her a scholarship to become a graphic designer, but after a year, she decided to change her major and actually even with a new major received her degree in 3  1/2 years. Then later to go to grad school to be a speech therapist.

Kristin married, and two years later became pregnant with twin boys. She planned the pregnancy based on when she would be least busy in her job. This was typical kristin because her life had been planned by her since she was small. Whatever she set out to do or achieve usually came true. When she told me, I’m going to get pregnant in july, so that I will have a baby in April, which is my slower time for work. I just laughed, and said, “hmmmm, well good luck with that plan but it’s not that easy”. But sure enough, she got pregnant alright. She used to say as a child that she thought she would have twins one day, because they do run in my family. And once again her prophesy was correct!

The pregnancy went well albeit a very eventful delivery of two and a very drop in her blood pressure and hemoglobin levels caused her to pass out after delivery. Baby A was head down and was delivered naturally weighing 7.1 and baby B was breach and was delivered by a skilled doctor who pulled him out by his feet! He weighed in at 7.11. Yes, that’s correct 14 pounds and 12 oz of babies.

It was a hard time for she and her husband. It’s a known fact of course that caring for multiples is a wee bit of a difficult task. Her husband was working to finish his dissertation for his doctorate degree, one of the twins was either colicky or just plain fussy most of the day, her strength was off due to her iron levels etc being low, and just sleep deprivation will make you feel like you are going to lose it…. Baby A wanted no part of nursing but she was determined to make it work. Baby b nursed like a champ . But she pumped and nursed all day everyday. After 8 weeks she went back to work with help from all 4 grandparents.

During these hectic months of me spending every other night there so that they could sleep, I started noticing my confident and able to accomplish whatever daughter slowly changing. This was not just first momma issues. Kristin was that ultra organized person before, that felt like she had to stay super organized and together but it was challenging. Exercising months later was out of the question she felt because that was so low priority and she had no energy. Kristin was not suffering from postpartum, she was just suffering from overwhelming exhaustion and exasperation that she was trying to balance it all and learning that the balancing act was making her life feel as if she was on a constant struggle bus. I as a mom, felt that I had to fix it. I am a fixer or so I try to be. When I wasn’t helping she and the boys I felt guilty, when I was helping at times I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Oh did I mention that baby b in which nursed Like a champ would not accept a bottle for 7 months?! Yes! She tried every bottle on the market. We tried everything. Every 3 hours she had to be there to feed him. Finally at about 9 months, life was starting to get a bit easier. But still Kristin’s confidence was gone or just something was off.  I didn’t know it then but she says now she was so miserable about the way she looked with the weight gain.  I could tell it bothered her a lot. She would always wrap something around her on the beach, she did not buy clothes and she just lost her spark and drive. Mamas know these things, but I prayed to God that the girl I knew would come back……

Bring in the cathartic moment, …..To anyone that does not know what a cathartic moment is, I’ll explain, because I’ve had way too many.

A cathartic moment is when in your mind, the truth is revealed to you. When you are going thru something tough, it’s as if you are holding on to big giant bricks and each brick is part of an issue that’s weighing you down. That cathartic moment is the one where you’ve held too tightly to it all and then it all becomes released in one earth changing moment and you drop those heavy metaphors. You are different emotionally and it is a release of the truth being revealed to you. We’ve all been to that breaking point place, when at that particular time or day or afterward, we have a straightforward look at our lives, our job, our spouse our in-laws  or boss etc. our CIRCUMSTANCE, and we tell ourselves to get it together and make a change. It may be getting ahold of your marriage issues, getting rid of negativity, getting rid of someone in your life that brings you unhappiness or toxicity.

Around 6 months ago, kristin decided to do something for herself and to get the woman back that we all once knew. So one day she woke up and made a change to start taking care of herself so that she could be comfortable in her appearance and her health and wanted to gain some confidence back! Now she has never been a super extrovert like her mom and brother. She is nervous in a large group setting and doesn’t like being put on the spot and her shyness in some situations has been mistaken before for aloofness, but she has always been confident in her inner abilities of accomplishment., so she started a lifestyle change. She started using a guide to eat better, exercise regularly, planning her meals each week, so that she wasn’t grabbing something unhealthy during a break at work. She just changed and I saw glimpses of her life coming back together. She has been from day one the best mom I’ve ever witnessed but she and her husband took zero time for themselves and Kristin did not take a minute for herself. When you go thru these changes you see a drastic release of negative and a big increase on the positive. She started posting things like :                 “These boys and the way they love me and look to me .. they are my why!  I want to be a confident mom. I want to set an example for them. I want to show them i am strong and healthy. AND i want to waNT to be photographed with them.   Every positive change in your life begins with a clear decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something!!  I already see positive changes in my life since making simple changes to my workouts, nutrition and being a part of online challenge groups to hold me accountable.  “ You can follow her journey on Instagram.teamtwinfitness   Check it out or send her a msg thru her Instagram account to see how she did it!

 

Here’s one of her posts

Sometimes you have to give yourself pep talks. Like “hello, you’re a badass woman, don’t be sad, you got this and I love you.” And ” if you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.    

Pretty soon, her complexion was healthier, her head was held higher, her step was lighter and she seemed Confident!! Kristin followed an online challenge Group for months that hold you accountable.  Now shes lost twenty pounds and is a lifestyle coach.  Last weekend she attended a clinic to learn how to motivate others in their lifestyles. She commented to me that the old kristin would never have gone to something like that alone with a group of strangers.  You can follow her on TEAMTWINFITNESS on instagram! She posted This after losing ten pounds.

img_1412

   “People also describe experiencing catharsis after experiencing some sort of traumatic or stressful event such as a health crisis, job loss, accident, or the death of a loved one.  Carthatic    the term is still often used to describe an emotional moment that leads to positive change in the person’s life!   

#Longreads

 

 

8 thoughts on “The strength within my daughter

  1. Sounds like a determined young lady. Congrats to Kristin. Maybe, a little William Brady in there, ha. Good story. Love to my Cousins!!

  2. Those are such true, loving words. For those that don’t know Kristin, this spot on described her!

  3. Perfectly written Susie!!! You always bring tears to my eyes. There’s nothing like being a mother❤️

Comments are closed.