Walking blindly in the forest….

This morning, my minister hit a home run with his sermon. I sat further up front today than I usually do, and this helps me, because my mind usually goes wondering and wandering when I’m not close.

My minister has a degenerative eyesight problem that he’s had since a child. He can only see well right in front of him, and his vision away from the periphery is blurred. He also spoke of not seeing well in the dark. Of this I can relate.

I guess it was the third grade when I figured out that I just didn’t see like other kids. In the fourth grade, I would tell my mom that I couldn’t see the black board, and she would write a note to the teacher to move me up front. Around a month later the teacher would always reposition the desks and once again have me away from the blackboard. Listen Teachers out there! ” Hey! When a child says they can’t see, they can’t See!”

In my family, I was the youngest of four. We never ever went to the doctor only if the school required a physical or if we were literally days from death. I’m not kidding. There was not a lot of extra money. An eye exam would never have happened, but finally the school had an eye test and I failed miserably. I took the slip of paper home, and said, “See, I told you I couldn’t see anything, the teacher and this note says I need to go to an eye doctor.

My first ever eye appointment, happened when I was beginning the fifth grade, the doctor determined that I was nearsighted and my vision was 20/300. Ugh. That’s not good. A week later when we picked up my very fashionable wire rimmed glasses, and i put them on, it was miraculous! Literally, I remember when my dad was driving home and I actually saw the mortar between bricks and all of the green individual leaves on the trees instead of one mound of green atop a trunk.

My vision, over the years ended up getting worse. In the ninth grade, I was living in Wisconsin, and was actually a pretty good gymnast. I was on a team for the school, and could not wear glasses while doing routines or the vault. My parents got me contacts!! Yay, no more skinny gal with glasses. What a change that made in my social life. My gymnastics improved, boys noticed the blonde without the dorky glasses! it was so nice to see at gymnastics meets to know when the judges nod to you to begin your routine. Contacts were Amazing!

My minister, did say that darkness is a problem for him. Darkness for me is also a problem for me but not to the degree his is. I try not to ever drive a night, other than in town. My vision now, is 20/1050 in one eye, and 20/1100 in the other eye. But of course about 20/30 with contacts. Praise God for innovation and a best friend Optometrist that’s a genius!!! I’m now in a torque lens . The minute I wake up, I grab my contacts, and the minute before I go to bed, I remove them. My coke bottle lens glasses stay next to the bed for just an emergency situation,!

As any of us, we take our senses for granted. We all do. It’s just human nature. I can get around at night to the bathroom or to get water in the night but that’s just because I’m familiar with my surroundings. Once, we were robbed from our storage building, lawnmower etc, and I heard something and sprung to the window ( yes just like the story) but no Santa, I could tell that someone was pushing our squeaky lawn mower just from the noise of the squeak, but I couldn’t find my glasses and I couldn’t see one thing. Just blurry, villains and blurry vehicle. the police asked for a description… truck color? I don’t know? How many people? I couldn’t see? Literally….

The difference between myself and my minister, Is that my vision can be corrected thru contacts but his vision issues are to a point that it’s non operable and just fair at best.

I am a very trusting person in nature of people and go thru life feeling that God will lead me and have a plan for my life. We all walk blindly thru situations many times, but without the big F word…. Faith that is, I don’t see how non believers can achieve the big H word…. HOPE.

Now even with Faith, Hope and Trust in God. I am not naive enough to know that unfortunately, today we can not think that God is going to lead us thru dangerous situations, bad times, complicated times without us being proactive and using our brains that God gave us. God gave you sense. Use it people. You have to protect yourself and I’m a firm believer in being your own advocate. Make changes in your life when your lifestyle or life in general is not going the way it should. I repeat…  God, gave you good sense- use it.

As parents, we instill our children with the foundation of ethics, morals, good sense, common sense and to make clear decisions. Well, so does God expect us to use our brains and take care of ourselves. As we see our kids go off in the world as adults. We have geared them up to SEE life with eyes wide open.. We pray that we have instilled in them everything they need for a happy life and how to deal with adversity, danger, the bad days and the good.

God, the ultimate light in the woods….. when we are lost or have obstacles in our life, unfortunately for me, that is usually the time that I search for guidance. Those are the days that I am searching for that guiding light in the darkness to help me SEE the way. The fact that we always need to remember, is that The guiding STAR has always been there. Not just in the bad times. The times when we struggle to SEE any goodness, but it’s there all the time. Put your glasses on, clear out the blurriness and see God’s radiance everyday… if we could all just have clarity then we wouldn’t have to jump start our faith. Our batteries would always be charged. I have a tendency while Life is good, to stop charging my batteries,  and then I realize  later that my faith and hope battery is barely is barely able to crank up.   Go to church, synagogue, mass , youth group, AA, support groups, therapists, gatherings or whatever group gives you a feeling of warmth this holiday season and SEE the Light in your forest….

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